An Update

I’m mostly updating because it’s now 3-something A.M, and I am apparently not getting any sleep tonight because everything hurts. And I’m bored.

My health is, as I’ve probably said an annoying number of times now, a mess. I had to cancel Austin, which is really disappointing. We’re trying to work something out for me to do from the house and maybe part time at school, at least.

As much as I’ve learned from the website work I’ve done, what I learned most about is how to handle chronic illness… It gets in the way a lot. Though I’m hoping this is just a flareup, the nature of my conditions is to be a bit degenerative, so I’m learning as I go.

I’m having to figure out how to set boundaries for myself (which, for someone who wants to do everything possible to be useful as efficiently as possible, is not at all fun) and listen to my heart. Not figuratively–I don’t have feelings– but literally. I also have to listen to my joints and stomach and nervous system, but the heart thing sounded better.

Truly, though, I’m learning a lot about when to resist limitations and when to just accept them. Write 8 English essays in three days? Sure! Push myself to the physical limit, particularly when there’s no one up for helping me out? Probably not a good idea.

You’d think heat stroke, dehydration, and an IV in my arm would’ve taught me about overworking myself, but it takes a while to get through to me.

Moral of the midnight story? Take care of yourself. Whether it’s mental or physical, no matter how small you think your problem is, take care of yourself. And listen to me, here, I’m the expert in ignoring my problems for fear that they’re too small to warrant any concern… ya girl ignored what was probably a serious arrhythmia a couple years ago because it was “no big deal.” (Fun wakeup call when your cardiologist tells you about that.)

Everything is temporary anyway. Might as well keep yourself as happy and healthy as possible while you’re here.

Love,

Your very annoying and very tired fellow student.

Oh, and Walgreens sells mango flavored Pedialyte that doesn’t taste like vaguely-salty, syrupy junk. If anyone’s dehydrated, I highly recommend it.