Today was pretty much the same as yesterday and we finished setting up the store for the pop up tomorrow. I’m excited to see which designers sell and which don’t. I know which ones I would buy, but I feel like I definitely have different taste/values than the crowd in trendy, hippie, sometimes impractical Brooklyn.
On a mostly unrelated note (but is anything truly unrelated? A thought for your Thursday), I’ve kind of put my finger on why I love cities like New York and Bangkok and London so much.
I tried to go to sleep fifteen minutes ago and I had to close my shades. It was physically too bright for me to go to sleep–the light radiated through my eyelids. Everything is so lovely and electrifying that it actually keeps me from doing something boring like sleeping.
But mostly, it’s cities like this that remind me of why I’m so excited to be alive and have so much future ahead of me. The incessant bustle is a 24 hour reminder to me to go the extra mile, to do exciting things even if I’m tired, to be motivated and ambitious and hungry. It reminds me to keep outrunning my biggest fear: becoming suffocated, jaded, pessimistic and empty.
I can’t help but think that light is the most perfect metaphor in a world of imperfect metaphors. The opposite is darkness and death and oblivion–and two of the most feared things are darkness and death. And if people ever thought about it, I’m firmly convinced that oblivion would be too.
Anyway, I’m not really sure where I’m going with this but it’s an interesting thought train that I’m planning on pursuing further in the morning.
But to put it simply: I feel motivated like I haven’t been in years. I’m ambitious and hungry. I’m back to reading and writing and thinking about all sorts of tricky things. The credit is rather split up–a combination of some fortunate events, I suppose. New York. Independence at last. No burden on my shoulders. Some certainty about my next four years. And mostly this project, probably. And maybe the fact that I’m living on a steady diet of challa and brie (which I didn’t even realize was my dream in life until I discovered the combination on Monday).
Anyway pt. 2: that’s seriously not relevant but my day wasn’t very interesting so I thought I’d share with you the fact that I seem to be having the opposite of an existential crisis (not sure what that would be called) for once, in my dramatic, mystery-plagued adolescence.
Anyway pt. 3 (sorry I swear this is the last one!!): since I’m on a roll here I wanted to share another couple of thoughts–I think lots of young people seem reckless because at this age, death is often too abstract a concept to be feared. Also grammar was totally made up by humans and so were the shape of these letters but somehow as I type these in New York you’ll read them in your head hundreds of miles away exactly as I intended and that just absolutely amazes me and I really need to go to sleep now so I am seriously ending this post right now. Thanks for listening to my rambling and you should seriously be thankful that you’re not with me in person right now because I’m sure it’s at least twelve times more obnoxious.